10.27.2009
the unknown.
These two prints are a perfect way to summarize my and Chad's lives within the next couple years. There are so many things that are unknown to us:
where we are going to live.
what jobs we will hold.
Okay, so it's not a lot of things, but I think it's probably some of the most important decisions that we'll make. On Sunday, we talked about moving out of our town and starting our own adventure somewhere else after I'm done with school (granted that'll be in 3+ years) like we have been before we even got engaged. This is a snippet of our conversation:
A: On a scale of 1 to 100, 1 being 'I have to stay here' and 100 being 'I already have my bags packed' how badly do you want to move?
C: Probably 50%.
A: Do you want to know what mine is? ... 90%.
That's our dilemma right now. C was born and raised for 26+ years in the same town, while I moved there when I was in 8th grade. It's never felt like 'home' to me.
I want to move somewhere and find 'home' for me and my [future] husband. Chad is open to the idea of moving and has always told me "I'm not going to decide to do something if I really don't want to." Which was his response when I asked him if he would resent me since I'm so dead-set on moving and starting our own life somewhere else.
I know it'll be a hard decision. Chad's parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, sister...they all live here. Chad's parents live in the same house that his dad lived in when he was growing up. My grandparents, aunts, uncles and [some] cousins live here as well. On one hand, I don't want to leave something so familiar.
But then, on the other hand, I ache to move and discover something new and something that's just ours. I want to be somewhere where no one knows who we are and somewhere where we have to depend on each other to build our house and our married life. It's one of the reasons that I hesitate to buy a house-with that, I feel like we'd be strapped down with a mortgage and then our chance to leave slowly drifts away.
Thankfully, this is something that we've talked about extensively and have prayed about extensively. We trust that God will lead us to make the right decision.
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